MARRIAGE:  It's an agreement  wherein  a man loses his bachelor degree  and a woman gains her master  LECTURE:  An art of transmitting Information  from the notes of the lecturer  to the notes of students  without passing through the minds of either    CONFERENCE:  The confusion of one man  multiplied by the  number present     COMPROMISE:  The art of dividing  a cake in such a way that  everybody believes  he got the biggest piece  TEARS:  The hydraulic force by which  masculine will power is  defeated by feminine water-power!     DICTIONARY:  A place where divorce comes  before marriage  CONFERENCE ROOM:  A place where everybody talks,  nobody listens  and everybody disagrees later on  ECSTASY:  A feeling when you feel  you are going to feel  a feeling  you have never felt before     CLASSIC:  A book  which people praise,  but never read     SMILE:  A curve  that can set  a lot of things straight!  OFFICE:  A place  where you can relax  after your strenuous  home life    YAWN:  The only time  when some married men  ever get to open  their mouth  ETC:  A sign  to make others believe  that you know  more than  you actually do  COMMITTEE:  Individuals  who can do  nothing individually  and sit to decide  that nothing can be done  together  EXPERIENCE:  The name  men give  to their  Mistakes  ATOM BOMB:  An invention  to bring an end  to all  inventions     PHILOSOPHER:  A fool  who torments himself  during life,  to be spoken of  when dead    DIPLOMAT:  A person  who tells you  to go to hell  in such a way  that you actually look forward  to the trip     OPPORTUNIST:  A person  who starts taking bath  if he  accidentally falls  into a river     OPTIMIST:  A person  who while falling  from EIFFEL TOWER  says in midway  "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"     PESSIMIST:  A person who says that  O is the last letter  in ZERO,  Instead of the first letter  in OPPORTUNITY     MISER:  A person  who lives poor  so that  he can die RICH!  FATHER:  A banker  provided by  nature  CRIMINAL:  A guy  no different  from the other,  unless he gets caught     BOSS:  Someone  who is early  when you are late  and late  when you are early  POLITICIAN:  One who  shakes your hand  before elections  and your Confidence  Later     DOCTOR:  A person  who kills  your ills  by pills,  and kills you  by his bills!